A White, Mildly Depressed Mormon RM Unveils His Secrets

This week on Tuesday I went and saw my counselor, Dr. McBride, because I've been feeling a lot more down than usual for the past couple of weeks.

All pictures blatantly stolen. This one's from "drhurd.com," which is a site I have never heard of and have absolutely no affiliation with or (obviously) loyalty to.

Even though I didn't learn anything earth-shattering, it's always helpful to have someone that I could talk to about my feelings when I'm down and can't seem to get back up. I first started seeing Dr. McBride back in April, when my post-mission depression was at its worst. Seeing him was a major part of the turning point I experienced, where my depression started to actually get better instead of worse. (The other parts of this turning point were 1) talking to my parents about it and 2) getting a priesthood blessing. My parents were the ones that set me up with Dr. McBride.)

At that time in April, I took a "depression/anxiety test" thing, in which you rate yourself on severity of a bunch of sympoms; anything under a score of 10 is pretty normal, 20ish is mild depression, 30 is moderate, and over 40 is getting pretty severe. (... I only very roughly remember those numbers so don't quote me on them.) 

Back in April I felt super depressed and scored I think a 21. This week I took the test again and scored a 17. I think that's accurate too, since I'm definitely not feeling near as bad as I was in April, but still bad enough that I need to change something in my life (which I hope to effect by seeing a counselor). 

When I had a girlfriend this last summer, a big mistake I made was always expecting her to completely fix any emotional negativity I might have felt at the moment. Since breaking up with her ~2 months ago, I've learned a number of coping strategies, things I can do on my own when I feel depressed. It is empowering to have these coping strategies, because this way I feel I can control my own emotions and not just expect someone to see that I'm sad and magically fix it. 

I sat down the other day and wrote in my journal some of the things I've done that have been most effective. I thought it might be interesting and perhaps even slightly helpful to someone to share them here. Presented in the order in which they came to mind (so perhaps subconsciously sorted by how well they stick in my mind, or perhaps by how recently I've done them):

1. Going on long solitary walks
2. Going on long walks with friends
3. Distracting myself by watching a movie or TV show (one of my roommates (who is awesome by the way) allows me to use his netflix account, which, by the way, is completely legal, although I totally judged my big brother for using his mother-in-law's netflix account before I found that out)
4. Getting in touch with my feelings, as opposed to sweeping them under the rug (i.e. writing about them, singing about them, listening to music that expresses them, playing music that expresses them)
5. Talking to people specifically about being depressed (i.e. counselor, home teachers, friends; anybody that has suffered from any degree of depression is especially helpful)
6. Getting enough sleep
7. Exercising
8. Playing trumpet/piano/guitar/singing
9. Spending money (movies in the theater, concerts, new clothes, toys, computer games, etc.)
10. Mindfulness Meditation
11. Getting out into nature (Y Mountain is the closest piece of nature to me these days)
12. Getting enough to eat, and staying hydrated

These are all things that I've done over the past 2 months. One of the things I like best about this list is that only two of them absolutely require any other person's involvement: #2 and #5. Some are awesome and easy and effective to use often, at least for me, e.g. #1. Others I try to limit (#9). Many of these are not options on a mission, unfortunately; I think it would be helpful if missionaries who were feeling stressed out were allowed to simply walk around town for a bit outside of proselyting time without talking to anybody and simply relax because that's something that has helped me tremendously now I'm back.

In my admittedly quite limited experience, the most important principles I've seen are to 

1) take responsibility for your own mental and emotional well-being, that is, not blaming it on anyone else (because you can change yourself, but it's really hard to change others) and 

2) find what works for you. If you were to hypothetically tell me that you're suffering from mild depression for the first time in your life and not sure what to do, I would recommend to you A) meeting with a counselor AND (not "or") B) getting a good book on the subject to help you understand the phenomenon in depth. I read When Panic Attacks by David Burns (he also wrote a very popular book called Feeling Good) and felt that reading the book helped me understand the mechanics of what was happening in my mind, whereas meeting with a counselor helped me to feel encouraged and apply the principles to my life. Plus, my counselor was the one that recommended that I get a book like that in the first place.

So lately I've been feeling alright about this whole depression thing. I admittedly don't suffer from very severe depression, just a mild version, so I urge us all to be mindful of people who do. If someone seems offended too easily, or withdrawn, or angry all the time, or unproductive, or lazy, or unfriendly, or self-absorbed, please keep in mind that it could very well be that they're depressed. When I feel that way I am extremely grateful for friends that offer love, attention, and acceptance that is in no way attached to what I achieve.

(Sorry if that last paragraph was preachy.)

Question: What do YOU do when you're stressed or depressed or anxious? What are the factors in your life that seem to affect your emotional state the most drastically? I'm actually really dying to know so if you would comment that would be fantastic.